Update On Vladimir/Anton: The Sequel
May 7, 2013 3:31:35 GMT -6
Post by spies7anton on May 7, 2013 3:31:35 GMT -6
I have to admit, I come to these forums often. You may find yourself asking one of the following things: "Anton, with the plethora of amazing activities that yourself and your knight in shining face-paint have to do, why do you spend your nights reading the Spies forums?" "Are you guys done bro'ing out?" "Is Destiny's Child getting back together?!" I have answers.
Vladimir and I were living a glorious lifestyle together, as you know from our last much publicized update (spies8.proboards.com/index.cgi?board=pastrelive&action=display&thread=1555). Reading this update, I, myself, couldn't believe the level of magic (the gathering) we created together. I guess that's what happens when two men with an unquenchable thirst for Axe Body Spray, Game-Cube, Jack Johnson hits, and debatably sexually driven love for bashing each other over the head with shovels collide.
Known for his fit physique, it should be of no surprise that Vladimir is a man of great strength. Known for my passive ways of taking abuse from spies, it should be of no surprise that I begged the big lovable clown spy to pound me with that shovel with all of his might. And pound, he did.
I'd like to think that the last Motherlanding we had together was genuine and real, and the force of which he hit me was only because I asked for it. I awoke on a curb, covered in vanilla ice cream, missing a kidney, but most importantly missing my best friend. The last time I saw Vladimir was when he cocked that shovel back for the nearly fatal blow to my head. It started with a shovel, it ended with a shovel.
After a long rehabilitation with the healing powers of jazzercise, I came back to these forums to relive our glory. Reading through our past and seeing how badly he played me in Spies 7, to the point of utter embarrassment, I can only come to one conclusion: he loves me. He's using the money he got from harvesting one of my organs to build a future for us, a bro-pad wall-papered with pictures of Cassidy's decapitated head on a spear. It's a work in progress, and he's waiting until everything is perfect until he contacts me.
As the years go along, sometimes I think I may be getting played again, but the integrity this man showed in Spies 7 leads me to believe he would not betray me. Soon after the incident, Vlad's twitter (@impalesincomparison) was deactivated, and his whereabouts are unknown to me. I have received tips of numerous sightings of him in many countries (including the motherland of Russia), and he's rumored to be running an underground Magic: The Gathering ring. It has been rumored he has changed the color of his van, and that it has more distinct look to it, but that sounds like a malicious lie to me. If anyone has had any contact with him, you can contact me at shovel2face@sexuallyconfused.net or hit up my inbox on Myspace.
Otherwise, I'm just living my life. After a long struggle trying to find out who I am, I've realized that I'm... g... g... Greek. It explains my financial struggles and my exotic spice, and I have never felt more free. It was liberating, really. I've had a few girlfriends, but they're more PS3 girls, and all a brotha wants to do is play some Game-Cube. Frequenting grindr looking for bros to chill with, but all I get in response is poorly taken dick pics -- some people really need to up their standards. Big fan of bathhouses, as my home shower has never really fulfilled my needs.
I adopted a chubby ginger orphan, appropriately named him Annie. He's at the top of his class at the local clown college, and I've been sending him to a shrink to learn sociopathic tendencies, and he's really been applying himself. He told me he loved me the other day, spat in my face, and then told me he loved me again. I believed every single word. He's a real joy, but I only live for two potential things: reuniting with Vlad & the revival of Destiny's Child.
XOXO Anton.
Vladimir and I were living a glorious lifestyle together, as you know from our last much publicized update (spies8.proboards.com/index.cgi?board=pastrelive&action=display&thread=1555). Reading this update, I, myself, couldn't believe the level of magic (the gathering) we created together. I guess that's what happens when two men with an unquenchable thirst for Axe Body Spray, Game-Cube, Jack Johnson hits, and debatably sexually driven love for bashing each other over the head with shovels collide.
Known for his fit physique, it should be of no surprise that Vladimir is a man of great strength. Known for my passive ways of taking abuse from spies, it should be of no surprise that I begged the big lovable clown spy to pound me with that shovel with all of his might. And pound, he did.
I'd like to think that the last Motherlanding we had together was genuine and real, and the force of which he hit me was only because I asked for it. I awoke on a curb, covered in vanilla ice cream, missing a kidney, but most importantly missing my best friend. The last time I saw Vladimir was when he cocked that shovel back for the nearly fatal blow to my head. It started with a shovel, it ended with a shovel.
After a long rehabilitation with the healing powers of jazzercise, I came back to these forums to relive our glory. Reading through our past and seeing how badly he played me in Spies 7, to the point of utter embarrassment, I can only come to one conclusion: he loves me. He's using the money he got from harvesting one of my organs to build a future for us, a bro-pad wall-papered with pictures of Cassidy's decapitated head on a spear. It's a work in progress, and he's waiting until everything is perfect until he contacts me.
As the years go along, sometimes I think I may be getting played again, but the integrity this man showed in Spies 7 leads me to believe he would not betray me. Soon after the incident, Vlad's twitter (@impalesincomparison) was deactivated, and his whereabouts are unknown to me. I have received tips of numerous sightings of him in many countries (including the motherland of Russia), and he's rumored to be running an underground Magic: The Gathering ring. It has been rumored he has changed the color of his van, and that it has more distinct look to it, but that sounds like a malicious lie to me. If anyone has had any contact with him, you can contact me at shovel2face@sexuallyconfused.net or hit up my inbox on Myspace.
Otherwise, I'm just living my life. After a long struggle trying to find out who I am, I've realized that I'm... g... g... Greek. It explains my financial struggles and my exotic spice, and I have never felt more free. It was liberating, really. I've had a few girlfriends, but they're more PS3 girls, and all a brotha wants to do is play some Game-Cube. Frequenting grindr looking for bros to chill with, but all I get in response is poorly taken dick pics -- some people really need to up their standards. Big fan of bathhouses, as my home shower has never really fulfilled my needs.
I adopted a chubby ginger orphan, appropriately named him Annie. He's at the top of his class at the local clown college, and I've been sending him to a shrink to learn sociopathic tendencies, and he's really been applying himself. He told me he loved me the other day, spat in my face, and then told me he loved me again. I believed every single word. He's a real joy, but I only live for two potential things: reuniting with Vlad & the revival of Destiny's Child.
XOXO Anton.
