critiques

[Chance]

i'm angry and don't want to deal with a group chat right now, so why not do the activity!

first critique - claude.

Claude -

I would be the first to agree with you that your playstyle gets results. However, you might do well to remember that not everything is about you. I've noticed multiple times that you've decided your opinion about someone or something based on some reason involving you, and sweet cheeks, it ain't always gonna be your show. You need to look at the bigger picture sometimes, I think.

[Chance]

cinnamyn.

Hey girl hey! Cinnamyn, you're arguably the most fun person in this burg to be around. You're sassy, you're smooth, and people can generally understand what you're saying. But where you been lately, girlfriend? I see you on AIM sometimes, but never for very long, and I never see you talking in the group chat anymore. You post a thread of questions from time to time, but never really follow up with what you get out of them! Speak up, girl! Let your voice be heard!

[Chance]

owen.

Sieg heil, mein dictator! Where you been lately? You're obviously someone that people think knows his stuff - otherwise you wouldn't have been given the most awesome power in spies history. Yet I have no idea when the last time you posted in the burg is. Just because you don't nominate doesn't mean you can't give your opinion! There's nothing preventing you from posting in the burg just because you have the word 'Senator' attached to your name. You may talk a lot over AIM but this game is played on the forums as well.

[Chance]

gertrude.

Hey lady. Kudos on actually finding a suspect of your own this time around, ja? No more following in people's footsteps for you! Next time, though, maybe you'll take on someone who's actually around to defend themselves. I think you can handle a bit more of a challenge than some geeky SGA dork who thinks he's an elf and is probably out raping nubile elven women.

[Chance]

jenny.

Hiiiii! Jenny! Hiiiii! I love your enthusiasm, and I love your nicknames. Don't let anyone else tell you they're annoying - they make me feel good about myself, at least. But honey, you can post all the vote counts and group chats you want and it ain't gonna let me know the least little bit about who you suspect! You say so much to so many people, now why is it I can't figure that little thing out? But you're playing this game fine, babe, don't let no one tell you different.

[Chance]

zedekiah.

Hey bro. Where you be at, dawg? No one's seen yo face since like, ever, and we be wonderin' where you be. You ain't gotta hide at home and mope, dude, we ain't gonna bitecha! Come out and play, dawg!

[Chance]

hambone.

Arrgh, muscles! You been pumping iron or something too much lately? I never see you and I miss your steroid-injected body and lush mustache. Particpate more or I'm barring you from the sauna for a month. And don't be so quick to judge! You'll paint yourself into a corner and once the walls fall down you'll have no idea where to go next.

[Chance]

stephanie.

Gurl, you wack. That be all dat can be said of you is you wack. You got reasons'n'shit to back up most o' yo' moves but dey be wack. Maybe you ain't been splain'in 'em good. Try a translator? You do be right 'bout one thing though, babycakes, I think. Ain't gonna say it here, tho.

[Chance]

broderick.

Como estas, Broderick? I think you no know just how offensive you be, si? You got all the chicas and chicos mad at you because you so bad at relations de publica. Ain't gonna catch no flies with no vinegar, si? You catch flies with the honey more like. Yo know tu can be bien, so why no show it?

[Chance]

kiara.

Sup homegirl? I see you be hatin on people for because you think they be hatin on you, yeah? That ain't no way to play spies. You gotta grow a thicker skin, mami. Elsewise you gonna be wonderin why you bein exiled cause all yo suspicions be cause you don't like no one. Look around, mami. Don't drive off the people you gonna need later.

[Chance]

mary.

Porque no es Mary? Where you be, chica? You keep yourself on the downlow and out of sight, si? People, they be wonderin', 'Donde es Mary?' and you show up at the last second. You keep secrets and only tell them to certain people, si? That ain't good for the burg. Spies gusta the secrets a whole lot more than the cits do. You oughta be more up front with the burg, chica.

[Chance]

magalie.

SHOW UP MORE BITCH OR IMMA CUT YOU. YOU DON'T TAKE UP SAM'S VALUABLE TIME AND A SPOT IN A GAME LIKE THIS THAT PEOPLE WOULD CHEERFULLY MAIM FOR IF YOU AREN'T GOING TO PARTICIPATE. AND IF YOU'RE A SPY LURKER THEN YOU CAN GO TO HELL IN A HANDBASKET. IF YOU THINK FOR ONE SECOND THAT JUST BECAUSE IT'S WON GAMES IN THE PAST THAT IT'S A LEGITMATE STRATEGY THEN I AM GOING TO DEPOSIT YOU INTO THE NEAREST ABANDONED POWER STATION IN ARIZONA WITH A HAMSTER WHEEL AND SENTENCE YOU TO PROVIDING POWER FOR THE GREATER LOS ANGELES AREA FOR THE NEXT FIFTEEN YEARS. RAAAAAAAAGE.

[Chance]

allan.

Miss Cleo say, where you be, chile? Ya don't gotta be a psychic like Miss Cleo to know dat people gonna start lookin real, real hard at cha boy. Ya bettah show up and get to playin dis here game of spies, chile! Miss Cleo don't know - well, she do know, but she ain't gon' be tellin' - whether or not cha be a cit nor a spy, but she bets her gramama's turban dat other people gon' be wonderin de same thing bout cha boy!

[Chance]

cory.

If you're a citizen then we have a problem, Cory. Have you ever once made a case on anyone? You talk a big game, Mister Philosowhatever, but when it comes down to it you're a bandwagoner. Was the case on Isaac yours? No. How about Camilla? Magalie? Lawrence? No, no, and no. Get your head out, kiddo, because I know you're better than that. You're arguably one of the most townlike people alive, but what exactly have you done to deserve that? Shape up.

[Chance]

tina.

Tina, if you're a spy, you're doing all the citizen's work for them and allowing them to be lazy. First Alexei, then Isaac? Make them work for it! And if you're a cit, then... I have nothing to say here, so back to you being a spy! If you are, please tell your spymates to bus more. Bussing is good, and should be encouraged. Thanks much.

[Chance]

dane.

Heyyy! We don't talk much, cutie! Why not? I'm not annoying, am I? All I ever get from you is rants, but then I ask you a question and you're 'not sure'! I think you're pretty town in a group, but get you by yourself and if you're not directing discussion you clam up like a... clam! Open up more! And don't be so mean!

[Chance]

awohali.

Hey you, mister "I'm so proper" man. You should talk to people you suspect. It's courteous. I know you can be the epitome of courteousness because you have been before. So what's stopping you recently? I've noticed you suspect a couple people you apparently haven't talked with in ages. Step up to the plate! Take the wheel! Make them talk to you! Even if you don't see them on AIM, PM them! If you really suspect them, don't let someone else tell you why, and don't let them hide from you.

[Chance]

and i don't feel like writing one for jasmine, rondak, or lawrence. especially since one of the latter is probably going to be exiled. there you go sam.

[Nita]

I remember liking these critiques when they were originally posted. Didn't know you were the Spanish faker, LOL.

[Chance]

Yeah, I specifically tried faking you and Cinnamyn both.